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Dr. Alan Neil Boyar


Dr. Alan Neil Boyar passed away on January 21, 2022, in Tiburon, California. He was an accomplished Clinical Psychologist and beloved friend, brother, husband, and father. Alan leaves behind his three adult daughters, Nicole, Sydney, and Lily, and wife Elyse.


He was born on December 20, 1949, in Brooklyn, New York. He grew up in Brighton Beach and later lived in Homecrest on East 8th Street. He was very close to his late parents, Shirley and Dave, and his sisters Cynthia and Beth, who live on the East Coast. Alan attended Northeastern University in Boston for his undergraduate degree and continued his education at the New School in New York where he earned a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, and later another Masters in Social Work from Columbia University.


Alan moved to San Francisco in 1976 for his PhD from the California School of Professional Psychology and interned at many hospitals and institutions throughout the Bay Area.


He worked for Kaiser Permanente in San Rafael as a psychologist for more than 20 years whilst also seeing patients privately. In addition, he co-founded the California Institute for Psychotherapy, an outreach center for community-based mental-health services and a training site for interns. Over the last few decades he was focused exclusively on his thriving private practice.


Above all, Alan loved people. He had a unique ability to connect with patients of different ages and walks of life and to accompany them through their darkest times. He had an enormous capacity for empathy and used humor to navigate jarring aspects of life. His work ethic and dedication ensured a busy practice with some patients staying for over 30 years.


Alan’s family was the centerpiece of his life. His devotion to them, and the love they shared, brought him immense joy and sense of purpose, with lots of laughter along the way. Alan was curious about people, and the world at large; he was an eager globetrotter, always up for an adventure and new experiences.


Alan and Elyse shared a loving partnership and enjoyed a deep and close relationship for 31 years. They were the love of each other’s life. His daughters and their partners cherished his wisdom and guidance throughout many stages of their lives and will carry it forward in their hearts. His family will remember him as someone who had the rare ability to make everyone feel special and heard, and to reflect the good he saw in them.


Alan was loved by a strong and active community of friends, many of whom were his travel companions, whilst others shared a film group, a bocce team or a golf course with him. Alan’s company was enjoyed by so many; he was the person one always wanted on the team. In sports his aim was not necessarily to win but to join in camaraderie, laughter, and a meaningful conversation with a friend. Simply, Alan was a rock of a man, someone who could be leaned on through thick and thin.


There will be a celebration of life in honor of Alan on Friday, February 25th with a service at Temple Emanu-El in San Francisco at 10am. The Boyar family welcomes anyone to the temple who wish to honor his memory.

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